Monday, August 01, 2005

Rough week

It's been a rough week.

I need to say that, to remind myself that not every week is like this and that next week will probably be a lot better. Of course it will be better-- next week I set off on holiday with college friends. We're doing a week in Istanbul and a week in London, and then I'm sticking around in the UK for work for another week and a half! Hurray! I cannot wait.

But anticipating next week doesn't make this one easier. It's been a week of goodbyes. Good friends are moving away from Washington, including my sister, my closest church friend, and a guy I'm interested in. (Whose emails have slackened off over the last couple of weeks. Not that I'm overanalyzing. Argh.) I live and work on my own, so friends are especially important to me. And I'm losing five this fall. I know we'll remain close, but I really want them here.

I'm tired of flying solo. Usually, I love my independent life and value my time on my own. It's all about balance, though, and right now things are out of whack. That will hopefully start to change soon-- I'm taking a course at VTS this fall, helping start a 20s/30s group at my church, and inching closer to having colleagues in my office here.

But I know I can't get everything I need through dint of planning. I have to pray for good friends and good love to come my way. They can't be scheduled in as I deem them necessary.

So, yeah. This week I feel terribly alone. I've been needing to have a heart-to-heart on life, faith and love, and I don't have someone nearby with whom I can let it all out. My priest, who's awesome at these sorts of things, is on sabbatical and there's no one else I can imagine crying in front of. So... what's up, blog o' mine?

Edited to say: I think I may have to join the RevGalBlogPals. I'm certainly a pal, if not a RevGal. Susie's Henri Nouwen post which I found through the Gals has been a great help this week.


At 9:48 PM, Blogger Emily said...

Absolutely a pal (and I'd love to have you among we Blogging Episcopalians as well).

At 10:24 PM, Blogger Unknown said...

Come right over; we would love to have you.
Those sorts of dreams can be so discombobulating. Just a sign that things are in flux, I think. Peaceful dreams tonight!

At 1:09 AM, Blogger Anna said...

Thanks, all. Songbird, I deleted that bit because I don't want to turn into one of those people who's always telling everyone about her dreams and boring them stiff.

And thank you for the offer, Shelley. I'll let you know! My priest is back on Labor Day weekend, which is when I'm getting back in town. I fully expect to be craving my solitude by that point, but it'll still be good to talk with her.

Tomorrow, when I'm more awake, I'll figure out how to sign up for all sorts of fun communities. For now, it's off to bed, having just finished Fortunes of War, that great 80s BBC miniseries with Emma Thompson. It was like comfort food.

At 7:00 AM, Blogger Kathryn said...

Of COURSE you must join the RVBPs at top speed...It's a lovely place to be, stuffed with wonderful people.
I HATE goodbyes too, - manically overpopulate my life as a result, but feel much better that way....
How busy are you while you're over here, Anna? We're away from 10th 17th August, and again (Greenbelt) over the w'end of 26th but it would be really really good to meet up irl if there was any possibility. Email me if you think it might work...

At 5:01 PM, Blogger Karen Sapio said...

Yes--please join. We need to increase the percentage of Northwesterners!

At 8:49 PM, Blogger Anna said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 8:51 PM, Blogger Anna said...

Northeastern (sorry, it's the other Washington) Episcopalian Pal reporting for duty!

At 12:55 AM, Blogger Karen Sapio said...

My mistake--I took VTS for Vancouver Theological Seminary. You're still very welcome in the ring :)

At 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

thanks for your honesty in this :)

It IS hard when you feel alone. praying for those friends to be in your life, to bring love, and joy and support - also critical feedback in love.

Be blessed sister


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