Sunday, August 07, 2005

to the RevGalBlogPals

So, I've joined the RevGalBlogPals. Hurrah! Frankly, I feel privileged to be read alongside women who post far more frequently and profoundly than I do.

You all have been a real blessing ever since I found you. I love seeing how much you post and comment back and forth, and how overwhelmingly supportive you are of each other. And I've been blessed when you stop by here.

I keep up with Episcopalian/Anglican news (usually a depressing endeavour) and on the site I read most, comments are on a spectrum from partisan to adversarial to vitriolic. This is Thinking Anglicans, whose editors are hardly firebrands, and the situation's clearly gone downhill recently-- the archives aren't nearly as bad. Reading what people have to say over there, I'm frustrated, angry, afraid. What is my church coming to, when all anyone can say to his fellow Anglican is "Get thee behind me, Satan"?

And then I venture one or two links up in my Favorites and hit the RevGals. You all are a breath of fresh air that clears my head and heart.

It's good to be reminded after yet another "he said, he said" story (and I will just note that it is nearly always "he") that life and faith go on. There are funerals to be taken, baptisms to perform, stories of cooking and hiking and child-rearing, and lots of puzzling over and celebrating God's place in our lives. Thanks for being such grounded, wise, women. Thanks for helping keep me real.

Monday, August 01, 2005

Rough week

It's been a rough week.

I need to say that, to remind myself that not every week is like this and that next week will probably be a lot better. Of course it will be better-- next week I set off on holiday with college friends. We're doing a week in Istanbul and a week in London, and then I'm sticking around in the UK for work for another week and a half! Hurray! I cannot wait.

But anticipating next week doesn't make this one easier. It's been a week of goodbyes. Good friends are moving away from Washington, including my sister, my closest church friend, and a guy I'm interested in. (Whose emails have slackened off over the last couple of weeks. Not that I'm overanalyzing. Argh.) I live and work on my own, so friends are especially important to me. And I'm losing five this fall. I know we'll remain close, but I really want them here.

I'm tired of flying solo. Usually, I love my independent life and value my time on my own. It's all about balance, though, and right now things are out of whack. That will hopefully start to change soon-- I'm taking a course at VTS this fall, helping start a 20s/30s group at my church, and inching closer to having colleagues in my office here.

But I know I can't get everything I need through dint of planning. I have to pray for good friends and good love to come my way. They can't be scheduled in as I deem them necessary.

So, yeah. This week I feel terribly alone. I've been needing to have a heart-to-heart on life, faith and love, and I don't have someone nearby with whom I can let it all out. My priest, who's awesome at these sorts of things, is on sabbatical and there's no one else I can imagine crying in front of. So... what's up, blog o' mine?

Edited to say: I think I may have to join the RevGalBlogPals. I'm certainly a pal, if not a RevGal. Susie's Henri Nouwen post which I found through the Gals has been a great help this week.